There Was Never an “US” in Us

cropped-cropped-e97ad717969de8c5b9cb9a01eb4ccbfa.jpgToday was the day. Today was the day that I’m accepting the fact that being together was never our fate. But we were destined for greatness. I have to admit though that there where moments where I truly believe we could happen, that you could be mine. But now that i look back at our story, being together was never on our itinerary; tears, pain, lies, disappointments, loss, yes, but love? never. Maybe at the beginning it was an innocent love the kind that doesn’t make you realize what’s wrong or right or maybe we were just two teenagers battling between love and lust. The truth is that, I honestly don’t know and no longer care because now that I’m 19 and i’m more conscious of how life really works, especially how the evil world of love works, we would’ve never worked, I know that now; after years of sorrow and wasting my time waiting for you I finally  know that. We are different, we want different things which is funny because opposite poles are supposed to attract, but I guess the universe has always been against us. You will always have a part of my heart, you will always be present and I think you know that, but I’m tired of waiting i need to start living without you, without the  unrealistic idea  of you that I’ve been holding on to for so long now. We are both extraordinary human beings, we are destined for greatness, but unfortunately we won’t be sharing that greatness after all. I will always remember that clever little boy with glasses and freckles on his nose that made me see colors in a different way, but I will also remember that same boy who took me for granted and was too blind to see that he had me; you had me. But I guess that since it was never our fate  to be together then it wasn’t your fault, it wasn’t my fault either like i thought. I was so caught up and living in this romantic fantasy that I didn’t realize that it was consuming me alive and that i was forgetting that that wasn’t my reality, it was my dream; can’t believe it took me 4 years to accept that my dream wasn’t your dream. I remember I would use to force myself to have this specific dream where we were happy together and you loved me, I remember I woke up once with an almost dry tear on my left eye and with a painful heaviness in my chest. Today, I woke up again after having a dream about us, but this time there were no tears and no heaviness because I’m finally accepting the truth about us, and the truth is that there was never an “us” in us.

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