You broke up with your girlfriend, and what did I do? I “accidentally” snap chatted you. Why did I do that? did I maybe feel a little sparkle of hope? did it maybe cross my mind that now that shE was out of the equation, we could maybe star over? try to be friends again? Why did I suddenly get this urge of reaching to you?
I’ve been thinking about something thatI don’t want it to be true. I’ve been concluding a reason for your coldness that I don’t want to believe.I thought the main reason why we stopped being friends, why we cut any sort of connection between us, as to why you stopped talking to me and why you shut me out was because of her. But now that she’s gone and I tried to reached to you even though I know I wasn’t the one who needed to do the first step, and all I got was a word; a cold, meaningless word?!I admit it, there was a part of me that was hoping for you to step out and start a random conversation so we could move on from all our old drama and try to fix us, but you didn’t and that killed me. As soon as I read your message… I couldn’t hold back the tears that started to form at the sides of my eyes. Five minutes passed… and nothing. I got nothing back from you, which makes me questioned all those times you tried this week to somehow communicate with me in school in your own distant and jerky way. What’s going on? I mean, I don’t get it… why don’t you want to fix things with me? don’t you miss me? don’t you miss being able to talk to somehow who has always been there for you whenever you needed to be yourself? don’t you miss our skype sessions? and our random conversations? C’mon, I know you have, I know you do. What is it then huh? did I do something? or is it that maybe you aren’t ready to be friends with me because of everything that has happened? cause that’s what Zara told me, she told me that maybe you weren’t ready to be friends with me because of all the mixed feelings, the fights, the lust, and the unfinished business we had/have, she told me you could even be afraid. Is this true? is she right? I honestly don’t know what else to think, I can’t find any explainable reason why you wouldn’t want to try to work out things with us. The last thought my mind gives me is a reason I’ve been wanting to avoid and act in denial about it; after everything, you don’t give a shit about me anymore.