To you,

I know how hard it’s been on us. Every day it passed, every month, it gets more painful. Yes, I know it’s been hard for you too, but for me? I sometimes feel that I can’t breathe. I’m at the point where I don’t know how I feel anymore… I honestly don’t know what to do. I’m trying to convince myself that I’ve healed, that I’ve finally moved on from you, Which is kind of true, I mean I know that I’m healing and that I’ve progressed a lot, but that’s the thing… I AM healing, I’m moving on, I’m not completely healed, I haven’t completely moved on from you, at least not yet. Actually, there’s something I’ve been wanting to do for a couple of days now, but I guess I still don’t have the courage to do it. I want to look you in the eye and see what happens, I want to see if it still hurts; I remember that it hurt, looking at you hurt and I think it always will. Ever since we entered to school I haven’t had the guts to look you directly, but that’s just because I’m afraid. There, I’ve said it, I’m scared, I’m scared of feeling, I’m scared that it will still hurt. I really felted today. Today, was the day that I realized and felt how much we’ve drifted apart, how all it’s left… is two strangers. Every time you would pass in front of me, it was like a sharp, cold air went through me. It’s really shocking and sad to see how we went from being best friends to strangers. I remember when we were 10, God, how innocent we were back then…we had such a great laugh. I think that’s partly why it’s been so hard for me to accept what has happened to us; it breaks me to see how we went from being two friends happily playing in my garden to catch the ball, to two strangers walking passed each other on the halls. How did we get here? I think I’m at a point where it no longer hurts me to acknowledge the fact that it didn’t work out for us, (you will probably never have me in your heart the way I wanted to), but it kills me to see how as time keeps passing by, we’re fading away and becoming into two complete strangers.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s